I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
