sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
