You made me cry and you don't even care
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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