Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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