Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

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(937): View more from Ohio

Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover

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(613): View more from Ontario

Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"

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(805): View more from California

You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.

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(845): View more from New York

i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!

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