there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
