D3 body, D1 cock
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Who died my cat blue again?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
