My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
