i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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