I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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