That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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