I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
