You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
All I want is dick and wine.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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