well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize