Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize