I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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