@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
