I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize