I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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