i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
