i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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