He kissed a someone with a penis
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
