he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You need Xanax blowdarts
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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