I bet he comes in French.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
ok first of all what the fuck
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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