his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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