I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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