she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
