i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
