If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
