brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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