The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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