Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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