I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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