were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
