i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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