I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
