erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
