All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
