Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
