Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
