the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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