It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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