put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
