holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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