Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
