I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Someone came in the potted fern
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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