Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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