she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
