I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We got so high we made milksteak
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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