Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
