The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
