theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
