Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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