how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
