its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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