he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
