wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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