i need an iv and a liver transplant
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
