i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
