Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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