ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
