I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
