Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
