I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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