I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
